Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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