I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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