I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
