I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
