Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
