I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
