just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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