She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
