party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
And then my night got REAL pukey
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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