We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Just puked most of my soul out..
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