She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
