About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
