He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Randomize
