So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
