I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
