We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
