Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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