Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize