Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
this boner is exhausting
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize
