it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
