take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
