I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
