sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
