We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
