margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
