I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
