I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
