if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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