C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
