there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
