at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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