with your own penis?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
