We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
