dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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