ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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