I just made out with a guy for $7.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
