I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
