But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
