Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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