This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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