omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
