I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
