thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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