i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
