He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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