On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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