shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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