Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Randomize
