we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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