Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
