i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
