I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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