Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
