id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize