...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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