so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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