Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
