guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
