I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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